How to Stay Consistent With Weight Loss After 35 (If You Keep Starting Over)

Welcome to the Body Recomposition podcast. This is Robin and you are hearing from me just a little sooner than you usually do. I had an aha moment in the car the other day and I had to drop all my stuff and start recording. So I don't really have notes today. I don't really have, I'm not prepared, but I do want to talk talk about it because it is so pertinent. And that is your goals are sabotaging you and your motivation does not matter. And I'm sure the emotion that you have just hearing that statement might be 1 of defeat or resentment or I, I don't know.

But I do know how you feel hearing something like that because it comes back to that feeling of defeat or being stuck or continuing on this hamster wheel that you can never get off of and when you do, somehow you miraculously fall right back into it. I've been there. I understand 100%. But I do want to shed light on the fact that your goals are definitely holding you back if you do not have systems in place to achieve those goals. Yes, very cliche, but anybody can have goals. Anybody can have goals.

But if you do not have system specific systems in place in terms of how you're going to get there, you're not going to get anywhere. Nowhere. And I also want to touch on motivation because so many women think they have a motivation problem and they don't. You have a motivation cycle that is not understood. And if you understood that you are not undisciplined, you are not lazy, you are just experiencing the same mental cycle that all of us, women and men go through when it comes to motivation. And that is just psychology.

I did write down this because I know there are phases of motivation, but I did not know what it was called. And it is called the trans theoretical model. But it shows that every behavior change happens in six predictable stages, and women get stuck in these stages without knowing why. I just want to touch on a message I got on Facebook, I think last year around this time because I made a video about it and I was in a winter coat. So I think that all of us are experiencing the same lack of motivation.

Maybe the seasonal changes, maybe the holidays. But we are going to uncover what those stages of motivation are. We are going to walk through these stages and then I'm going to connect them to one of my favorite COVID reads. And I like to call them COVID reads because had it not been COVID, I never would have read it. Atomic Habits, chapter 1, boom, life changing. So we're going to go through how tiny daily actions compound into massive change, especially for women, especially for women who are above the age of 35, whose hormones, metabolism, your stress responses, all of that has shifted after age 35.

So this this plays even more of a prominent role in your life than it then it used to. OK, so by the end of this episode you are going to understand why motivation disappears, why consistency is not a personality traits. OK, you can learn this too. Why your goals don't matter as much as you think and the one thing you must decide before any habit sticks. So let's get started. We're going to start with the six stages of motivation because psychologically motivation does happen in stages and you cannot skip 1.

So stage 1 is called pre contemplation where it's kind of like I know something's off, I'm kind of not like it. And I in this phase, you might just feel fluffy or inflamed, stressed, just short tempered, exhausted, or how I described myself, just a vessel, right? A vessel. I feel like I was a vessel in my house that was just giving, but not actually there. I'm not present, I'm preoccupied. I am a a vessel of vapidness that is not sustainable for anybody. But you're thinking like, oh, something's off.

But I'll start after the holidays or when so and so is done with this sport or when after my visit with OK women who are above the age of 35, when all of those hormones that I talk about all the time are all over the place, especially cortisol because it's high. So stress is high. This burnout starts to feel like you're your normal, like what is normal to you and it's not. So stage 1 precontemplation things just kind of feel off. OK stage 2 contemplation. You want to change, but you are unsure. This is the I should I should eat better?

I I should start going to the gym or I should check into my hormones. You don't act because you're still thinking that change feels too much like it is too much to even consider right now. And I while I have been in fitness, I'll mention my background briefly. I was a teacher in the public school system for upwards of 12 to 15 years, depending on what you consider, you know, as I was a teacher mentor as well throughout that time. I spent a big chunk of it as a trainer in on, you know, as a side job.

And then and then I was having kids and doing all of that. And now I started my business. I am no longer teaching in the classroom, but I am so passionate about teaching women how to achieve these goals, how to put systems in place to achieve their goals, which is what brings me to this podcast. But right now I'm talking about the stage 2 of contemplation. And I remember feeling like after each one of my kids, I was, I was, I was so out of shape and I was so obsessed with breastfeeding that I was just constantly, I don't, if you've done breastfeeding, you know the feeling it is just you are.

I was an I was shaped like an apple on a stick. I think I had 80 extra pounds just all on top. And I was tired and I was no no, just a vessel like I mentioned. And the thought of even going to the gym with as much weight in my chest that I was carrying was not going to happen. But I really knew I needed to do something because gaining 70 lbs when you're pregnant is apparently not the norm. But just the thought of change was really overwhelming until it gets to a point where you know that you are not going to stay in this space anymore because the pain of staying the same has now become less tolerable than the pain you know you're going to endure that it will take to change, right?

That's that's when real change happens, is it is too painful to stay in the same spot you're in. And that is the place I was in three years ago. So now we are in stage 3 preparation. I am planning to change. You bought yourself a cute planner. If you have a teacher background like me, you know about Erin Condren planners. Maybe you bought one of those. You started ordering protein powder. You started following new fitness influencers on Instagram and listening to podcasts like mine and saving recipes and everything.

You know this space, Wow, we've all been there. It's an exciting spot to be. And this is where 80% of women stay permanently. This phase in the preparation phase, not action preparation, is where 80% of women stay permanently. They plan, they do not act. That is not you anymore. Because today you're going to learn how incredibly easy it is to make very small changes consistently every single day. And you will see in three months, you're a completely different person. These tiny changes that are not painless, but they are not painful, are going to reshape your entire life.

Three months from now. You're not going to be the 80% that stays in the preparation phase. You are going to be the 20% that acts because you've been in this phase. It's not fun. It's painful. OK, so now that I have all my action ladies still with me, the 20%, this is when you start doing exactly that. You start taking action. You start actually doing the thing. You start walking more, you start prioritizing protein. You start going to the gym. You start tracking your macros. You hire me. You start lifting weights.

This stage is hard. This is the hardest stage to be in because you are not going to see the the results of your efforts very quickly at all, if if at all for the first maybe month. But this phase is what's going to separate the girls from the women, the boys from the men. This is the phase where your patients that you have deep inside you, your tenacity, your grit, that is all going to come shining through because you're the 20%, you're going to continue. This is the stage that is where real change happens.

And in this action stage where you are suddenly walking more, you're feeling great, you're prepping your food, you are basically starting a new era of yourself. This phase is an awesome place to be because you can feel these new roots starting. You can feel parts of you coming out. You can start seeing that you are strong. You do have what it takes to make these changes. But here is where women fail and that is they do not put systems in place. Excuse me, you can hear cars outside because I'm not in my normal report recording spot.

This is where women fail because you don't have the systems and the systems are so, so imperative to see success with your new, your new routines that you're implementing. So I just want to briefly go over the difference between goals and systems. So goals are all about the results you want to achieve. They're great, they're exciting, so fun to think about your goals. The systems are about the process that is going to lead to those results. Now, if you're a coach like my brother-in-law, he is a coach.

Your goal might be to win, win the championship. And the, the book Atomic Habits talks about this exact, this exact comparison. Your system is the way you recruit your players, the way you manage your team, your assistant coaches, the way you conduct practice. Those are your systems. Your goal is to win the championship. You're not going to win the championship unless you have your systems tight. Now I want to talk about when I first started putting systems in place in my life in terms of my fitness goals.

And that was in college. And I remember I had never, I mean, I have always been an active girl. I, I played soccer. I was outside from morning until night. But once I went to college, I ate cereal all day and just rapidly put on weight. Oh my gosh. So I I had used part of my school loans to hire a personal trainer, Shout out Jess. And that was the best decision I ever made, honestly, because it changed my life. And somehow I was convinced to sign up for a figure competition when I had never really lifted weights before.

This was, I don't know, when I was 22. I had never lifted weights, but I had just started lifting weights and Jess and his wife were really into figure competitions. What is that? What is it going to make you happy? OK, I'll do it. I had no idea what I was signing up for. I just knew they were really enthusiastic about it. And so I signed up for a figure competition with no experience and no understanding. And what I learned and what you will, you will learn right now is a figure competition is when you go on stage lubed up, really tan in a bikini, a bedazzled bikini and you do certain poses where judges are standing in front of your almost naked body, judging it with your symmetry, your, your muscle development, your.

I could go on about this. I had signed up. There was no refund. When I learned I was going to be in a bikini on stage, I almost died. And I didn't want to disappoint them and I did not want to look like an idiot. So I really had no option but to look good. There was no other option. And I had I think at that .12 weeks of prep. So I had to buckle down. I had to get some systems into place because I had none. And I was just kind of going into the gym and chit chatting and you know, being my obnoxious self but having fun and you know, getting in when I did and what not.

But now I had to have a system in place because if I didn't, I wasn't going to the gym consistently. So I wrote on this little post it note and I wrote what my what my workouts were, which was I had to do cardio in the morning and then I had to do my lift. And I wrote down exactly what time I would do my cardio and exactly what time I would do my lift. And I stuck them on my calendar throughout the week because that was the only solution I could come up with where I could see when I needed to be at the gym.

And I knew if I skipped any of those, I wouldn't be able to remove that. Post it and I would have this visible reminder that I was a failure and that I was weak and that I wasn't going to look my best on stage in a bikini. So I did that I put the post its up I committed to a time, a place I had a system in place so that I could get my stuff done. I also put a big circle around Sunday nights and Wednesday afternoon. And that was when I was going to prep my food because while I was in college, I had a couple little jobs.

I was waitressing. I, I was doing all the things and apparently spending my college loan money on my personal trainer, which so glad I did. Anyway, so I stuck those meal preps on Wednesday afternoon and Sunday night. Now where are we? I am 37 years old. That was 15 years ago. Do you want to know what time I get up every single day? Five, if not 430. Sometimes a little earlier, sometimes a little later. OK, what do I do? I do my cardio. Do you want to know what's written on my big whiteboard in the entryway of our entryway?

What time I'm going to do my workouts? Because now I have four other people to consider and I need to know ahead of time when I'm going to do them. So I plan out my week. I put a little symbol on when I'm going to do my workouts. If I'm really practically, I'll even write down what body parts I can mentally prepare, how much pre workout I need and what do I do on Wednesday afternoons and Sunday nights? Prep my food. For 15 years I have done this. Now when I had kids, during COVID, when I was teaching, that changed a bit.

But when I want to achieve a goal, I go back to these systems. Now these systems has just has just become my way of life. And some people look at me and they think that it's over the top. That's OK. You do, you be who you want to be, and I'll be who I want to be because I like who I am. I like that I get her up up early and I have this sacred time that nobody interrupts me even if they want to, because I know they won't get up as early as me. It's like a competition, like you will stay in bed and I will be in the basement or at the gym completely unbothered, right?

That is my time. Those are my systems. That's exactly when I work out. That's when I prep my food. Now, if you're just starting in your goals and you're in this action phase and doing these things, you're having these systems set. You have identified exactly how you're going to get your workouts in, when you're going to prep your food, what you're going to eat when you're going to grocery shop. You have identified your systems. We move into stage 5, which is maintenance. And this is just where you are consistent.

You are doing it on repeat. You are operating like a machine because that is now your identity. You are not someone who wants to work out more. You are a lifter. You are not someone who wishes they had more time to food prep. You prep your food. You are not someone who wishes they had the motivation to track their food. You are a macro tracker. You are doing all of that on repeat every single day. And you do not want to be a fit woman. You are a fit woman. You are. So when I got this message in my Facebook inbox last year about this time that said, how do you have the motivation?

And my response was, I don't, I'm incredibly unmotivated. I, I just do, I operate, I, I function like a machine because what is my alternative to gain 70 lbs? Again, I don't want that. I'd rather get up the same time every day and do my thing. I'd rather have my allocated reading time to further my knowledge and broaden my horizons. I'd rather have good, healthy food that I feel good after eating and it's honoring to my body. I'd rather have that than the alternative, which is most likely. If you're listening to this, it might be where you are right now.

You're eating on the go, You're munching on your kids goldfish crackers. You are grabbing fast food. You are not saying no to the treats in the lounge. You are scrolling on your phone instead of going to the gym or even just getting yourself a walking pad that you can walk on while you scroll on your phone. And that is not you. That is not you. That's just you being stuck in the preparation phase with the 80 other 80% of the other ladies. But if you're listening to this, you are the 20%, you're going to move into the action phase and then you're in the maintenance phase.

When you are being consistent, when these systems are running your life and you are operating like a machine, not on motivation, but there is a final stage and that stage is called the relapse stage. And unfortunately, at this place in time right now, I have, excuse me to drink some tea a couple clients who kind of fell into this stage. And it is so defeating. It is so defeating, but it is 100% normal and expected. It is not you failing. It just cycles you right back to the preparation or action phase.

So the goal is not to avoid your relapse phase, but to just move through it faster because now you know it is not you or your lack of motivation. It is psychology. It is the way the human brain works. And now that we know that now that we have the understanding as to how motivation works, we are going to move into the Atomic Habits portion of this episode. Because I found this book to be so instrumental in getting me off that stupid hamster wheel during COVID where I wasn't wearing wearing real pants and I was pretty much unidentifiable in public.

Oh my goodness, yes, this book was life changing science heavy, but life changing. And so in this book, Atomic Habits, James Clear says habits are the compound interest of self improvement. It does not matter how successful or unsuccessful you are right now. What matters is that your habits are putting you on the path toward success. Now, this part is directly from the book. Your outcomes are a lagging measure of your habits. Your net worth is a lagging measure of your financial habits. Your weight is a lagging measure of your eating habits.

Your knowledge is a lagging measure of your learning habits. Your clutter is a lagging measure of your cleaning habits. You get what you repeat. You get what you repeat. Sure, have the birthday cake go out to eat and eat the bun too. But when you start doing that one time and repeat it again and again and again, that trajectory is taking you much further away from your initial goal, your destination, than it would be if you just consistently repeated the same desired habits over and over and over again.

And not to say that you can't go out to eat or have the cupcake, but then get back on track, get back on that route that's taking you to your destination, your goal. It's OK to derail here and there a tiny bit, boom, boom, boom. But it's just going to take that much effort to get back on track. So just stay on track as much as you possibly can. Now, tiny habits, good or bad, they compound. If you can get 1% better every day for a year, you're 37 times better at the end of the year. If you get 1% worse every day for a year, you're basically at zero.

OK, Your body, your metabolism, your cravings, your emotional regulation, those are all a reflection of repeated habits, not single events like 1 bad meal doesn't do anything but 300 slightly off meals. Now you're inflamed, your stress, you're 15 lbs heavier. It's it's a compounding effect. One missed workout doesn't do anything, do anything. But now you've missed 2 and then it's 3. And now you haven't gone to the gym in three months and your pants have gone up 3 sizes. So remember that those tiny habits compound, good or bad.

Secondly, results are a lagging measure of your habits. This is the number one thing women struggle with. Your appearance is a lagging measure of your nutritional habits. Your strength is a lagging measure of your training habits. Your stress tolerance is a lagging measure of your emotional habits. Nothing shows up right away. And that's when women quit because they are working so hard to change all these little things in their life. And they are doing everything in their power to just get control of their health, but they're not seeing a physical representation of all the effort they continue to pour into themselves.

And in the book, he mentions this analogy that I love. It's about an ice cube. So you have an ice cube, it's sitting on the counter, and you turn the temperature up from 25° to 26° to 27° to 28°, and nothing's happening. And then all of a sudden, at 32°, your ice cube melts. The same goes for you. You are turning up the intensity in your habits. You are turning up the intensity in your intentionality. And nothing is happening. But all of a sudden, somebody at work says, Susan, you look really great.

Have you been losing weight? And it's like, thank you for noticing. Maybe you haven't yet, but your body composition is changing so visibly it looks like you have you have hit the 32° mark. That bat is starting to melt off. All of your compounding efforts are paying off. And it took three months to see it, but here we are. And it's worth it. And people will think, wow, when did that happen? Well, three months ago is when you started busting your butt in the gym and getting up early. But now today, three months later, it's just a little bit visible.

And one year from that point, you'll, you will look completely unrecognizable. I promise you. OK, third take away from that book I wanted to touch on is that the goals don't change your life. The systems do. Women set goals. I want to lose 20 lbs. I want to be a size 4. I want to fix my hormones. I want to have, I don't know, visible triceps. But goals are outcomes. Systems are inputs and your system is what you do. Your system is what you do every single day on repeat. You hit your protein goal, you hit your step goal of 10,000.

You get at least 7 hours of sleep per night. I know, I know. If you know me, I'm working on it. You have your scheduled lifting sessions done in advance. And when I say done in advance, I mean written down identified what day and what time you plan on lifting every day that week. If you're going to lift 3 times that week, you need to write down Wednesday 3:00, Friday 1:00, Sunday 8:00 AM. You write that down ahead of time and maybe do the post it note thing that I mentioned when I did in college.

If you complete your workout, you take the post it down. If you don't, there it is staring you in the face saying oh you are one step away from getting to your destination. So again, you do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. You have great goals. You have horrible systems that needs to be in place first get your goal, have your why put cut it out. Put a little picture wherever you want to put it. But then you need to specifically write down the systems it's going to take to get there.

And if you ever need help coming up with systems, because to me it's it's a second, second nature at this point, but I do have a couple clients were like, well, if I want to do this, then what system would I use? Oh my gosh, please ask me, DM me. I love taking you by the hand and guiding you through something that is overwhelming and daunting and unfamiliar. That is my passion. I love it so much. Do not hesitate to reach out to me. You can do that on Instagram. I'll just say this now, you can do that on Instagram.

That's RAC fitness under dash. So RAC Fitness under dash or you can e-mail me [email protected]. OK #4 true behavior change is identity change. We're going to true behavior change is identity change. This is the deepest, most important thing that you can glean from that entire book. Your identity has to shift before your habits become easy because it's not I want to lose weight. It's I'm a woman who takes care of her body by going to the gym everyday. It's not I want to work out. It's I'm a lifter, OK?

It's not I wish I had better habits. It's I consistently get up at 6:00 AM. I'm an early bird. Say that out loud. Maybe you haven't even gone to bed at 6:00 AM. But start saying that you are an early bird and you will start getting up earlier because you have to shift your identity. You have to innately change the way that you view yourself. Quick example, when I was in high school, middle school, I had no concern for grades. I didn't care. I cared about my friends. I cared about being active. I cared.

I mean, I cared about school, but not to the point that my sister did where she had, she was in all honors classes because in my brain, I just didn't feel like I was smart. I didn't feel like I could achieve the same things that my very intelligent sister could. So I didn't really try because I felt like I was funny and I had friends and that's really all that mattered. But that's not the reality. Like I wasn't even going to take the Act's because in my head I was like, why? Why, You know, remember I was however old in my teens, I did take the Act's.

Did I study? Not at all. Not one moment, not for a bet, and I got a really good score. I'm not trying to brag. I'm going to really good score. And I thought, how the heck did I get that score? Did I, do I remember, am I kind of not stupid? And that went through my head because I, I've always hated school. I, I didn't understand why class was so boring, why teachers couldn't really connect the material and make it relevant. And I just had no interest. I had no interest in the way traditional schooling schooling is, and that is honestly what spurred me to become a teacher because I love making learning fun.

I love passionately connecting with kids, with adults. I love teaching. That is. That is a humbly a gift. A gift of mine. At least I'm told it is. But something about getting that not horrible ACT score spurred me to think a little higher of myself. And when I went to college, I enrolled in child development classes and I started getting A's. And I was like, how did maybe I am smart? And then I started viewing myself as somebody who was smart. And if I ever received anything below a perfect score, I was going to find out why and how I could fix it.

And that's who I've been since that day. Am I smart? I don't know. I think I am. I believe myself to be because I had an identity shift. I was no longer just this loud cello playing. I don't even know what I was. I was a goofball and I still am a goofball. I am who I am, but I'm a smart goofball in my own brain. But as it channeling my teaching background, it's also called having a mindset of growth and just knowing that you can obtain and be who you want to be. As cliche as that sounds, as long as you have a mindset of growth and not everybody has it, but you can adopt it if you don't have it.

If you have a stagnant mindset, one that says I'm always going to be overweight, I'm always going to look this way, I'm always going to feel this way. I'm always going to be, you know, the, the mom who's out of shape and Mike blah, blah, blah. That's because you, you believe that about yourself. But if you can take that belief and throw out the trash can and embrace a completely new identity and wholeheartedly embrace it and start saying I am a lifter. I prep my food on Sundays. I drink 100 ounces of water a day.

OK, that's who you are. Maybe it's not reflected on the outside yet, but if you take all the actionable steps and put your systems in place to match your identity to that, that's who you will become. It's just science, it's psychology. And when your motivation wanes, which it will, you will relapse around. I think that that article I was reading said six weeks. Who knows when it will happen, but when you do, because you will and I have, you don't rely on your motivation, you rely on your systems.

You operate like a machine. You have a goal. Just like when the plane takes off and it's on the radar headed to the destination. You might have, you might go off a couple degrees here, here or there, but if you don't get back on track, you'll never get there. So just get there by doing all the things, embracing all the systems and you will achieve that identity as long as you believe that you will. So in conclusion, I have been rambling up a storm lately. In conclusion, the solution how to actually change a step one, decide who you want to be.

Not what you want to weigh, not how you want to look, but who do you want to be. Do you want to be a strong woman? Do you want to be more present mom? Do you want to be a woman who lives? Choose who do you want to be Step 2 do the smallest habit that matches that identity. So if you said I want to be a strong fit woman, you're going to lift for 10 minutes a day, 10 minutes a day. Doesn't matter what you do go buy a pair of 10 LB dumbbells and Google some workouts go on my Instagram. I have some posted do that for 10 minutes a day.

OK, if you want to be a woman who gets her protein everyday, eat 30 grams of protein for breakfast. You are now a woman who prioritizes protein consistently because every single morning you make sure that you eat 30 grams upon waking. That's you. You're a woman who eats her protein. Step 3. Build a system, not a goal. OK, build a system, not a goal. I have a whole group blueprint for this on my Instagram, but it basically talks about what you're going to eat. This is a this is a system for body recomposition, dropping fat, gaining muscle for women above 35.

Go into my Instagram. You can find it on there. I think it's called the recomposition blueprint. Protein in every meal. One to five strength training sessions weekly depending on your ability, a zone, two session daily hydration, blah blah blah. Look that up. Build the system, not a goal. Lastly, stage Step 4. Expect to cycle through the motivation stages. You will relapse, you will fall off, you will have hormonal shifts, period, lifestyle. Life happens, stress happens. But now that you understand the cycle of motivation, you can catch yourself faster and just get right back on track.

Here's your homework. You're going to finish this sentence. You're going to finish this sentence and you actually have to say it out loud. You have to say it out loud. That's the first step in tricking your brain that you are somebody you're not yet. But if you say it out loud, that is the first step. I am a woman who blank. I am a woman who blank. And then do one tiny action that solidifies that statement today. Just one. You're a woman who and what's 1 action you can do that proves it to yourself?

That's how you change ladies. Thank you so much for listening. I know that was kind of a Rambling Robin podcast, but sometimes I just, I just feel the need and I have to, I have to ramble. It is my nature and my kids just got home from school. So again, thank you so much for tuning in today, ladies. And remember, don't hesitate to reach out to me. It fills my heart. I love your comments on Spotify. I love your questions. I love your emails. It all just brings me so much joy because I am really so passionate at helping women just empower themselves and change their lives in the way that is honoring to their bodies and therefore honoring everybody else around them because it makes you the best version of yourself.

How to Stay Consistent With Weight Loss After 35 (If You Keep Starting Over)

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